I am getting on in years, and I have a very extensive IMDB page, and I cannot keep track of my own credits.

What people do in their private lives is their business, and shouldn't be anybody else's business.

If people are watching me 365 days a year, 360 days they might be bored to tears. And on the other five days, maybe I would qualify as Satan.

Every relationship has its complications.

Nothing in life is unfair. It's just life. To the extent that I had any inner turmoil, I had only myself to blame. I also thought of my two boys and what kind of example I hoped to be. I would always want them to take charge of their own futures and not be paralyzed by the comfort and certainty of the status quo or be cowed by the judgment of those on the outside looking in.

Everybody is God. Everybody is the devil. And if you don't realize you have both parts, that's what really causes problems.

When I had my Comedy Central roast, David [Spade] was my first choice to be roastmaster, because I adore him. He's funny as hell, and nobody is meaner.