Your interests change. I used to feel that if I spent evenings reading, or watching a film, or just doing nothing up here at the house, I would probably be missing something that was a lot more fun. I don't have that sense anymore.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't go out very much. When I do go out, a lot of times it'll be to something like a heavyweight fight, and I'll be photographed, so that people have this conception that I go out a lot.

You can't believe everything you read. It's never been more true.

When I had my Comedy Central roast, David [Spade] was my first choice to be roastmaster, because I adore him. He's funny as hell, and nobody is meaner.

Random Roles? Oh, I saw Virginia Madsen do this the other day! You see? I'm paying attention!

You can meet people who are really beautiful. Then, when you see them angry for the first time, all of a sudden they're not beautiful anymore. They didn't just step into the other room and have plastic surgery; they're still the same physically. It's just that something inside of them has changed. They're no longer attractive.

I am the guy dressing up in, you know, the caveman outfit for the kids birthday parties.