A community where everyone is a ruthless murderer, with handy access to death-dealing devices, is a very polite community.

The death rate is the same for us as for anybody ... one person, one death, sooner or later.

People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy a half slug who must tighten his belt.

I scrolled on down to the obituaries. I usually read the obituaries first as there is always the happy chance that one of them will make my day.

Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done.

Man can be chained, but he cannot be domesticated.

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.