Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.

Every Congressman, every Senator knows precisely what causes inflation... but can't, [won't] support the drastic reforms to stop it [repeal of the Federal Reserve Act] because it could cost him his job.

Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

Never pick up a stray kitten . . . unless you've already made up your mind to be owned by it.

If you wanted to teach a baby a lesson, would you cut its head off?

No storyteller has been able to dream up anything as fantastically unlikely as what really does happen in this mad Universe.

It seems to me that the secret of true happiness in life is to know what you are and then be content to be that, in style, head up and proud, and not yearn to be something else.