Thinking doesn't pay. Just makes you discontented with what you see around you.

The marks won't listen if it's free.

If I don’t start having service I’m going to swap you all for a dog and shoot the dog.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

He should have known better because, early in his learnings under his brother Mahmoud, he had discovered that long human words (the longer the better) were easy, unmistakable, and rarely changed their meanings, but short words were slippery, unpredictable changing their meanings without any pattern. Or so he seemed to grok. Short human words were never like a short Martian word - such as grok which forever meant exactly the same thing. Short human words were like trying to lift water with a knife. And this had been a very short word.

Talking with a Martian is like talking with an echo. You don't get argument but you don't get results.

He's as weird as snake's suspenders but sweet as a stolen kiss, too.