My folks tried to make a preacher of me and missed by a narrow margin… I would have made a good one if I hadn’t fallen into the fatal folly of reading anything I could lay hands on. With just a touch more self confidence and a liberal helping of ignorance I could have been a famous evangelist.

A "critic" is a man who creates nothing.

Certain types of loudmouthism should be a capital offense among decent people.

It’s not enough to be able to lie with a straight face; anybody with enough gall to raise on a busted flush can do that. The first way to lie artistically is to tell the truth — but not all of it. The second way involves telling the truth, too, but is harder: Tell the exact truth and maybe all of it…but tell it so unconvincingly that your listener is sure you are lying.

Some things, the more you understand the more you loathe them.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

If I had found out anything, it was that they could print it faster than I could study it.