If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

A girl's name ending in 'a' - that always suggests a 'C' cup.

To assess the intelligence of a committee, divide the IQ of its stupidest member by the number of members.

Does history record any case in which the majority was right?

It is possible that the percentage of honest and competent whores is higher than that of plumbers and much higher than that of lawyers. And enormously higher than that of professors.

I believe that almost all politicians are honest. For every bribed alderman there are hundreds of politicians, low paid or not paid at all, doing their level best without thanks or glory to make our system work. If this were not true, we would never have gotten past the thirteen colonies.

My dear, I used to think I was serving humanity . . . and I pleasured in the thought. Then I discovered that humanity does not want to be served; on the contrary it resents any attempt to serve it. So now I do what pleases myself.