Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily.

There ought not to be anything in the whole universe that man can't poke his nose into-that's the way we're built and I assume that there's some reason for that.

Only a sadistic scoundrel-or a fool-tells the bald truth on social occasions.

Being privileged to work hard for long hours at something you think is worth doing is the best kind of play.

The correct way to punctuate a sentence that states: "Of course it is none of my business, but -- " is to place a period after the word "but." Don't use excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.

Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it's more sanitary.