Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.

Take sides! Always take sides! You will sometimes be wrong - but the man who refuses to take sides must always be wrong.

If Satan should ever replace God he would find it necessary to assume the attributes of Divinity.

Fulfillment in life is loving a good woman and killing a bad man.

Another ingredient in a happy marriage: Budget the luxuries first!

The shamans are forever yacking about their snake oil miracles. I prefer the real McCoy, a pregnant woman.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.