I used to be an atheist, until I realized I had nothing to shout during blowjobs. Oh Random Chance! Oh Random Chance! just doesn't cut it….

Nobody sees the obvious, nobody observes the ordinary. There are more miracles in a square yard of earth than in all the fables of the Church.

The normal is that which nobody quite is. If you listen to seemingly dull people very closely, you'll see that they're all mad in different and interesting ways, and are merely struggling to hide it.

If you don't laugh at all, you've missed the point. If you only laugh, you've missed your chance from illumination.

The Constitution admittedly has a few defects and blemishes, but it still seems a hell of a lot better than the system we have now.

There's a seeker born every minute.

Groups are grammatical fictions; only individuals exist, and each individual is different.