I used to be an atheist, until I realized I had nothing to shout during blowjobs. Oh Random Chance! Oh Random Chance! just doesn't cut it….

Consciousness itself is an infinite regress. This explains coincidences.

People who've been through our educational system, they think they're thinking, when they're just repeating like parrots.

When the rose and the cross are united the alchemical marriage is complete and the drama ends. Then we wake from history and enter eternity.

The Right's view of government and the Left's view of big business are both correct.

Most of the characteristics which make for success in writing are precisely those which we are all taught to repress ... the firm belief that you are an important person, that you are a lot smarter than most people, and that your ideas are so damned important that everybody should listen to you.

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.