Always keep your home presentable, assuming you keep a home for purposes of presentation.

I was once a skeptic but was converted by the two missionaries on either side of my nose.

Overheard in a Washington D.C. church confessional: "Bless me Father, for sins have been committed."

In the best of relationships you have two people who cannot think of anything that was not part of the deal.

A man sometimes wins an argument, but a woman always wins a silence.

Know thyself, or at least keep renewing the acquaintance.

There was never a wise saying that couldn't be made wiser by adding the words, "and vice-versa.