Computers will have to learn that when I quote from some old author who spelled differently from the machine, the wishes of the long-dead author will have to be respected, and the machine will have to mind its manners

No people in the world can make you feel so small as the English.

She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of people.

I was afraid and did not know what I feared, which is the worst kind of fear.

Boredom and stupidity and patriotism, especially when combined, are three of the greatest evils of the world we live in.

"Civilization rests on two things," said Hitzig; "the discovery that fermentation produces alcohol, and voluntary ability to inhibit defecation. And I put it to you, where would this splendidly civilized occasion be without both?"

The pleasures of love are for those who are hopelessly addicted to another living creature.