Never assume. Never make plans. Keep doing the press-ups and deep knee bends: you'll need all your strength and flexibility when your life suddenly implodes. Maybe it won't — some people do lead enchanted lives — but odds are that it will. Some time.

Then marry me. For I love you, and I do not believe there is anything so wrong with you. You are fair in my eyes and you lie fair on my heart.

Say yes, babe, or I'll spill you off over the Wall next time - got it?

It is a much more straightforward thing to be a dog, and a dog's love, once given, is not reconsidered.

I get a little cranky with the whole business about kids not having attention spans. This reminds me of the usual business of thinking that the next generation is hopeless. Every generation has said that about every younger generation.

I long for another human face just as I fear it.

The Lone Ranger of vampires. Did that make me Tonto?