It's a good thing I stayed in Cincinnati for four years -- It took me that long to learn how to spell it.

The trouble with having a wired jaw is that you can never tell when you're sleepy. You can't yawn.

Coaching third with a pitcher on base is like being a member of a bomb disposal squad. The thing could blow up in your face at any moment.

You mix two jiggers of Scotch to one jigger of Metrecal. So far I've lost five pounds and my driver's license.

On Jose Gonzalez changing his name to Jose Uribe: 'He was definitely the player to be named later.'

I've had more numbers on my back than a bingo board.

It's a good thing I stayed in Cincinnati for four years -- It took me that long to learn how to spell it.