You mix two jiggers of Scotch to one jigger of Metrecal. So far I've lost five pounds and my driver's license.

I've had more numbers on my back than a bingo board.

The players are too serious. They don't have any fun any more. They come to camp with a financial adviser and they read the stock market page before the sports pages. They concern themselves with statistics rather than simply playing the game and enjoying it for what it is.

You mix two jiggers of Scotch to one jigger of Metrecal. So far I've lost five pounds and my driver's license.

Well, there are three things that the average man thinks he can do better than anybody else. Build a fire, run a hotel and manage a baseball team.

It's a good thing I stayed in Cincinnati for four years -- It took me that long to learn how to spell it.

On Jose Gonzalez changing his name to Jose Uribe: 'He was definitely the player to be named later.'