My motto: 'No good movie is depressing. All bad movies are depressing.'

We are poor mortals, but it dreams to us that we can fly.

Dogs remember every favor you ever do for them and store those events in a memory bank titled Why My Human Is A God.

To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts.

No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out.

Here's how much I know about hockey. Mike Royko and I were in a tiny bar one winter night, and the radio kept reporting goals by the Blackhawks. I mentioned how frequently the team was scoring. 'You're listening to the highlights,' Royko observed.

Here is a children's film made for the world we should live in, rather than the one we occupy. A film with no villains. No fight scenes. No evil adults. No fighting between the two kids. No scary monsters. No darkness before the dawn. A world that is benign. A world where if you meet a strange towering creature in the forest, you curl up on its tummy and have a nap.