I stopped taking notes on my Palm Pilot and started playing the little chess game.

I don't think Bush was legitimately elected President.

Here's how much I know about hockey. Mike Royko and I were in a tiny bar one winter night, and the radio kept reporting goals by the Blackhawks. I mentioned how frequently the team was scoring. 'You're listening to the highlights,' Royko observed.

Open-heart surgery is now part of a typical life experience for many people. Folks talk casually about 'having a stent put in,' as if they had their tires rotated.

Dogs remember every favor you ever do for them and store those events in a memory bank titled Why My Human Is A God.

That's what fantasies are for, to help us imagine that things are better than they are.

If you can act as if something is true, in a sense that makes it true.