I don't like to go to premieres or openings. I don't like to have to put on makeup.

Are you fat because you're a lesbian, or are you a lesbian because you're fat?

Every kid should sit in the velvet at least once in their lifetime.

Every time that I hear the orchestra tuning up, I get chills all over my body. You know, catharsis after catharsis. It's better than sex!

There are some heterosexuals that have heterosexual behavior that is appalling sexually, that is deviant and bad and not really moral and Christ-like and biblical. But those people are never questioned as to whether or not they're allowed to be a parent.

You should be able to tell your child, "This is an actor. And she's older than Mommy!"

I'm going to try really hard not to be bossy, but I've only done stand-up comedy and then my own show where you're the total boss of everything!