People don't want the truth. Everybody knows that heard what I said in that monologue about our culture's 'addiction to perfection' and how it started and where it's sustained - movies and television and so forth - knows that it's the truth.

Innocent Americans are murdered, and what happens? An entire political party and an amendment to the US Constitution gets blamed.

The way [Donald Trump] is dealing with this now is to say (paraphrasing), "I don't want these A-listers here. I'm not asking these people to perform."

The idea of going back to college scares me, and I didn't even go. I went to college for one year, two semesters. If you add up the total time, I probably didn't even go one semester.

The pope is encouraging immigrants to come here. He's encouraging us to let them come here. He's encouraging us to stop any efforts whatsoever to prevent them from coming here. Why, if capitalism's so bad? 'Cause if he gets what he wants and everybody else along with him, we're not gonna be capitalists very much long. Here's what the pope said about Trump.

How could that woman [Hillary Clinton] actually be the most cheated-on woman in America? Which she is.

It's a consensus that Trump, as the nominee, guarantees the election of Hillary Clinton. I'll guarantee you there's not a single Donald Trump supporter who thinks that.