I had to learn early on that where conservatives are concerned, the truth about them is the last thing anybody wants to report. It's the lies and distortions, the mischaracterizations, the character assassinations, that people want to report.

Congressman Steve King believed what Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi were saying, that Donald Trump had a agreed to a deal on the DREAMers and had gotten nothing on getting rid of the wall for it, and the wall was not part of the deal. He wasn't the only one. David "Rodham" Gergen, who is the definition of Washington conventional wisdom.

Since the Drive-Bys are involved, I'm sorry, folks, I just never, ever do I accept anything, I don't care what. If it's football, if it's the space program, if it's anything, I automatically do not believe it.

You're safer not believing what you read in the New York Times. I don't care what it's about, but certainly that you're safer not believing anywhere in the mainstream media the general thrust of this story, that the Russians wanted Donald Trump to win and hacked the Democrats and embarrassed John Podesta and Hillary Clinton and succeeded.

My objective is to satisfy [my] audience so they come back the next day.

You can criticize Trump and his wealth all day long, but you can't say he hasn't worked. You can say that about the Clintons.

You know, I'm the mayor of Realville. I'm Mr. Literal. And I never saw the benefit of complaining and whining and moaning. I don't complain and whine and moan anyway, and I don't deal well with people that do. I don't know how to react to complaining, other than say, "Oh, gee, I'm sorry." I don't know how to react to whining and moaning. It kind of bothers me. So I don't do it myself. Lord knows, I got all kinds of things. I could spend the rest of this week whining and moaning if you wanted me to about things. I just don't.