I've always wondered how in the hell we conservatives became denoted by red. That's a commie color! It is! The liberals have always been red!

You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.

Legal immigration is a much tougher group of people to stereotype and to identify as potential new Democrat voters.

Donald Trump won't listen to anybody.

It doesn't matter to me where Barack Obama goes. If he wants to go to Hawaii because it's his home state, fine! Hunky-dory. Plastic banana, good-time rock 'n' roller dittos.

The media has lost its monopoly. They have lost the opportunity they had to define what's news and what isn't news. They have lost the monopoly on telling people what to think, as in commentary and this kind of thing.

Hillary Clinton said that white women did not vote for her because their husbands told them not to. You remember that? And we all said, "Wait a minute. What happened to feminism? Who are all of these docile women who are only doing what their husbands and boyfriends tell 'em to do?" But Hillary said that. White women didn't vote for her because their husbands didn't like Hillary and their husbands are telling them.