Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not create this line. This line belongs to all of us. Surely this is a line of God

No-one really feels self-confident deep down because it's an artificial idea. Really, people aren't that worried about what you're doing or what you're saying, so you can drift around the world relatively anonymously: you must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from that idea that people are watching you.

The only systems we can afford to employ are those that rationally serve the planet first, then all humanity. Not out of some woolly, bullshit tree-hugging piffle but because we live on it, currently without alternatives.

All penguins are the same below the surface, which I think is as perfect an analogy as we're likely to get for the futility of racism.

The world isn't made of atoms, it's made of stories.

Surfing should be called "foam-choking" or "sea stabbing.

Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space.