People don't throw your bags out of windows because of lies; they throw them out because of the truth.

No-one really feels self-confident deep down because it's an artificial idea. Really, people aren't that worried about what you're doing or what you're saying, so you can drift around the world relatively anonymously: you must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from that idea that people are watching you.

Imagine the wisdom to be passed down from the classical Buddhist texts.

Rebel children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory.

I like threesomes with two women, not because I'm a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I'm a romantic. I'm looking for "The One." And I'll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time.

When you're married, it's one person. That's one more than a monk. It's not that different.

Say I feel all sad and self-indulgent, then get stung by a wasp, my misery feels quite abstract and I long just to be in spiritual pain once more - 'damn you tiny assassin, clad in yellow and black, how I crave my former innocence where melancholy was my only trial'.