You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

We all need something to help us unwind at the end of the day. You might have a glass of wine, or a joint, or a big delicious blob of heroin to silence your silly brainbox of its witterings but there has to be some form of punctuation, or life just seems utterly relentless.

A buddy of mine was addicted to heroin and he told me that people who say quitting cigarettes is harder than quitting heroin are wrong.

I think what's actually happened is print media is becoming obsolete, and this is like the floundering corpse of a dying media. It is just twitching.

A Halloween-haired, Sachsgate-enacting, estuary-whining, glitter-lacquered, priapic berk How dare I, from my velvet chaise longue, in my Hollywood home like Kubla Khan, drag my limbs from my harem to moan about the system? A system that has posited me on a lilo made of thighs in an ocean filled with honey and foie gras'd my Essex arse with undue praise and money.

And I don't think we should be continuing to propagate the idea that famous people are magical or special because it makes people feel like their lives ain't no good.

Managing wildlife? It's wild! It don't need managing, leave it alone.