Our social and economic systems are so devoid of humanity and love.

Normally, I'm good at first dates, 'cause that's the only date I ever have, so I know how to control it and be confident.

We all need something to help us unwind at the end of the day. You might have a glass of wine, or a joint, or a big delicious blob of heroin to silence your silly brainbox of its witterings but there has to be some form of punctuation, or life just seems utterly relentless.

Amy Winehouse - her surname's beginning to sound like a description of her liver.

I've always been a 'your parents have got to come up to the school' type of person. Even now, when I do something wrong - if I say something inappropriate on a live tv show, for example - I half expect to have to deliver a note to Barbara Brand: 'Please come up to Channel 4 head office, Russell's done something despicable.

It doesn't matter how many pairs of shoes you have, how many cars you have, etc.... It's all utterly meaningless and yet we continue to pursue this. Why? Because they've learned they can stimulate our primal desires through selling us products.

Everyone has their own mantra.