At seventy-four I'm getting minor raves on my looks, but I'm caught in the middle. Who knows what seventy-four looks like? Who cares? But if I'd listened to my friends, I could now lie and say I'm eighty-four. For eighty-four, the way I look is spectacular.

Nothing dates one so dreadfully as to think someplace is uptown. At our age one must be watchful of these conversational gray hairs.

To get it right, be born with luck or else make it. Never give up. A little money helps, but what really gets it right is to never face the facts.

I'm sure the way to be happy is to live well beyond your means!

Anything that begins 'I don't know how to tell you this' is never good news.

Your first big trouble can be a bonanza if you live through it. Get through the first trouble, and you'll probably make it through the next one.

Do people get moral when they don't get ahead?