A thousand years ago the Chinese had an entirely codified kitchen while the French were still gnawing on bones. Chopsticks have been around since the fourth century B.C. Forks didn't show up in England until 1611, and even then they weren't meant for eating but just to hold the meat still while you hacked at it with your knife.

Life is so endlessly delicious

Growing up, I was utterly oblivious to the fact that Mom was teaching me all that. But I was instantly aware of her final lesson, which was hidden in her notes and leters. As I read them I began to understand that in the end you are the only one who can make yourself happy. More important, Mom showed me that it is never too late to find out how to do it.

It is not 'only' food, I said heatedly. There's meaning hidden underneath each dish.

When a person has lived generously and fought fiercely, she deserves more than sadness at the end.

I had done this. I had pulled my life apart. I would never, ever be safe again.

I felt that I was really living in the moment. I did not know where my life was going, but right now the future did not trouble me.