My father was swallowed alive by his own anus. It was a terrible way to go.

When I exhale, I just turn right into Louie Anderson.

I have daddy issues. So I keep tissues on me at all times.

I just want to finish what I'm doing and go home. I want to have a weekend. I want to have breakfast, a stack of pancakes. I don't want to not enjoy where I am at this very moment. So, every time I plan something the exact opposite happens.

I remember being upset because I was finally legal to drink in Canada, and I decided to throw that all away and move to America, where I had to wait another two years. I came here to do improv and to try to join the Groundlings.

I had a lot of different jobs between fifteen and nineteen. I'd moved out of my house way, way younger than I should have. So I was living out on my own with my brother when I'd just turned sixteen. I did busboy stuff, and worked in warehouses, and did odd jobs, and stuff. I earned me some Pesos.

As a kid, I think I wanted to be the on-set dresser for 'Charlie's Angels'. My goals weren't lofty. No. I just wanted to someday quit my paper round and that was about it.