The main obligation is to amuse yourself.

I loathe writing. On the other hand I'm a great believer in money.

He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my maternal sympathy, and I helped him bite it.

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

I guess I'm just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation's laws.

I found the pearl of the Orient slightly less exciting than a rainy Sunday evening in Rochester.

I don't know where we're going or how we'll get there, but when we get there we'll be there - and that's something, even if it's nothing.