I sat on the bench outside of class today and talked to Jon. I read to him from my journal, it was the part about the accordian player I was watching on the street last weekend. He said that an accordian is such a perfect metaphor for Love, because you are always opening, and closing, shifting, and getting air, and that's how the music happens. True.

MUCKY drawing I AM FeeLing completely mucky today too. everyone at school seems so much tougher + pulled together and not so emotionally involved. I get so mad at MYSELF FOR 'caring so deeply' AND 'MAINTAINING' all this stuff in me that FEELS SO PATHectic. I want to put my tHINKing in HYBernation FOR A WHile.

You've got this amazing creature- yourself- that can breathe, dance, and cry. And you have a certain amount of moments (maybe a few million moments-but moments they are) and you have this chance to do absolutely anything- to reach out to another vulnerable & true. To dance on the roof of euphoria and pray beside the ocean to let go. We have the chance every moment to Be Alive and give to this world who needs each one of us so badly.

Honor your humanness and all of your feelings - the messy ones, the growing pains, the ache - because we can't have the dark without the light.

The more I look around and listen I realize that I'm not alone. We are all facing choices that define us. No choice. However messy is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. We all at our own age have to claim something, even if it's only our own confusion. I am in the middle of growing up and into myself.

The truth is WE ALL ACHE. WE ALL HAVE GROWING PAINS and wonder if WE ARE OKAY adn enough + loved. THE THING IS - WE ARE. REALLY. WITHOUT the silver shoes and lepord print sheet. WE ARE ENOUGH WITHOUT all the things we buy to make us much more than we are or need to be we are simple and complex and rare as is.

I have learned that I am enough... I have learned that no one else can LOVE ME - FOR ME.