The only way I'll ever run a marathon is if I'm involved in the administration.

If you get 10,000 guys to put their ideal woman into a computer, it still comes out looking like Angelina Jolie.

I've got a great relationship with my dad, but I can imagine how annoying it would be if I had to move back into his house.

I can make a virtue of slapdash. Slapdash can give you courage.

I've got spider veins all over my legs, so I wear opaque tights all winter. All sorts of colours.

A Local Government Stationery Store is something to behold. It's like walking through the back of a cupboard into a really dull Narnia.

I think everyone is forgetting what plastic surgery is for - if you have a face-eating tumour, lose a breast or are involved in a car accident, then it's a good idea.