I once had a friend who did the hair for sci-fi movies, and after a particularly bad break-up I stupidly went to her salon and told her she could do anything she liked. She dyed the bottom cherry red and the top peroxide blonde.

I dont have the self-discipline for diets; I break rules I set for myself, so I try and eat more healthily, juice more, and avoid sugar.

Bad impulse buys make you feel grim, don't they? It's like having consumer Tourette's. I gravitate towards austere foreign-language film DVDs when insecure.

When I write, I create really absurd situations which become false because I am after the joke.

When I got pregnant with my first child I gained nearly 5st. I did a bit of pretending: "I'm just really small, so I just put on a lot of weight when I'm pregnant." That is true, but I also ate a lot of cake.

All I want to do really is get married and be a matriarch.

Getting a new passport took me a stupid amount of time. I had to go back five times with different photographs because they kept saying I was smiling, which is against the rules. I was not smiling.