All I want to do really is get married and be a matriarch.

I dont have the self-discipline for diets; I break rules I set for myself, so I try and eat more healthily, juice more, and avoid sugar.

I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.

The children break all my jewelry, so everything I wear is cheap - from Topshop or Dorothy Perkins.

All I want to do really is get married and be a matriarch.

When I'm a brunette, it's four times harder to hail a taxi. Then I go blonde again, and suddenly there are taxis everywhere.

My mum's from Yorkshire and my parents aren't snotty or posh - they're very hard workers, both of them.