We were so poor we envied everyone we ever heard of.

Romance without finance is a nuisance. Few men value free merchandise. Let the chippies fall where they may.

No man can be held throughout the day by what happens throughout the night.

[On entering the restaurant business:] Food has the dubious advantage of being legitimate, and one's customers somehow manage to live longer without sex than food, if you call that living.

Madaming is the sort of thing that happens to you - like getting a battlefield commission or becoming the dean of women at Stanford University.

It doesn't take much to produce a good merchant of cash-and-carry love: just courage, an infinite capacity for perpetual suspicion, stamina on a 24-hour-a-day basis, the deathless conviction that the customer is always wrong, a fair knowledge of first and second aid, do-it-yourself gynecology, judo - and a tremendous sense of humor.

Like I always say, if you sit long enough by the crack of the door, you'll see your enemy go by in a hearse.