To appear on the stage drunk, to have them leave there and remember me making drunken mistakes, that was death.

Imitations only better the original.

My mother was born in San Juan. So I'm Puerto Rican, Jewish, colored and married to a white woman. When I move into a neighborhood, people start running four ways at the same time.

The only person I ever hurt was myself and even that I did to the minimum. If you can do that and you're still functioning, you're the luckiest person in the world.

After I decided to become a Jew, only then did I learn that the Jews don't have all the money. When I found out Rockefeller and Ford were goyim, I almost resigned.

Ten million dollars after I'd become a star I was deeply in debt.

Real success is not on the stage, but off the stage as a human being, and how you get along with your fellow man.