If God wants us to do a thing, he should make his wishes sufficiently clear. Sensible people will wait till he has done this before paying much attention to him.

The dons of Oxford and Cambridge are too busy educating the young men to be able to teach them anything.

Men are seldom more commonplace than on supreme occasions.

One of the first businesses of a sensible man is to know when he is beaten, and to leave off fighting at once.

A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing.

Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.

The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions.