If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.

No mistake is more common and more fatuous than appealing to logic in cases which are beyond her jurisdiction.

The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions.

A man should be just cultured enough to be able to look with suspicion upon culture at first, not second hand.

Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.

A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from all his forefathers.

There is nothing which at once affects a man so much and so little as his own death.