A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing.

Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one.

Books want to be born: I never make them. They come to me and insist on being written, and on being such and such.

Women can stand a beating except when it is with their own weapons.

The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore.

Words are like money; there is nothing so useless, unless when in actual use.

We all like to forgive, and love best not those who offend us least, nor who have done most for us, but those who make it most easy for us to forgive them.