When you've told someone that you've left them a legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once.

It is our less conscious thoughts and our less conscious actions which mainly mould our lives and the lives of those who spring from us.

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

Life is one long process of getting tired.

The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions.

Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.

It is a wise tune that knows its own father, and I like my music to be the legitimate offspring of respectable parents.