When you've told someone that you've left them a legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once.

If God wants us to do a thing, he should make his wishes sufficiently clear. Sensible people will wait till he has done this before paying much attention to him.

The seven deadly sins: Want of money, bad health, bad temper, chastity, family ties, knowing that you know things, and believing in the Christian religion.

The dead should be judged like criminals, impartially, but they should be allowed the benefit of the doubt.

There is nothing so unthinkable as thought, unless it be the entire absence of thought.

Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.

Half the vices which the world condemns most loudly have seeds of good in them and require moderate use rather than total abstinence.