Racism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, sexism, anything Nazi and a boatload of other things have no place in my life.

I think people who do comedy tend to do it well, and to do it painfully and truthfully. So making the leap to drama is easier for them because everything they've done is from pain anyway.

I don't want to not enjoy where I am at this very moment. So, every time I plan something the exact opposite happens. I hope that I'm always satisfied and content like I am right at this very moment.

I love thongs. The day they were invented, sunshine broke through the clouds.

Y'know, every relationship is different. There are good marriages, bad marriages, connected partners, unconnected partners.

I can install toilets. I know all about the wax ring. I can tile floors. I'm learning how to do basic wiring.

Every single second of every single day... I don't know if I feel like a bad mom, but at the end of the day I'm always plagued with, 'Did I do enough? Should I go in a different direction?'