What else do I have to offer? Nothing happens to me anymore. That’s the reality of getting old, and I guess that’s really the crux of the matter. I’m not ready to be old yet.

It's just a crazy damned life, that's all.

Hey! Shouts Camel. There ain't no woman in the world worth two bottles of whiskey!

Age is a terrible thief. Just when you're getting the hang of life, it knocks your legs out from under you and stoops your back. It makes you ache and muddies your head and silently spreads cancer throughout your spouse.

Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of.

You do right by me, I'll show you a life most suckers can't even dream of.

How hard can it be to find a girl and an elephant for Christ's sake?