I do half the cooking, and by 'half' I mean three quarters," Dad pointed out. "And if you're going to turn up your nose at all my carnivorous delights, ingrate child, you can sit under the table and gnaw sadly on a raw Brussels sprout at mealtimes.

I saw you put rice in a toaster once," said Mae. "I was there when made the tin of beans explode." "It was faulty," Jamie protested, his eyes shifty. " I am sure of this.

You're barely even wearing a shirt! What are you going to do if a mugger jumps out at you, flash them?

Nick is driving us," Jamie informed him. "Nick has a car. Nick has TWO cars. Ha!

Ready?" Jaime echoed. "Yes, yes, I am ready. I am ready to drink a lot of liquids and lie on the sofa moaning faintly all day long. That is what I am ready for. I cannot engage in physical activity of any sort or my head will fall right off. Is that what you want Nick? Because if so, I find that hurtful.

Want me to flex my magic for you, baby?

I have changed my mind. You can help cook by standing in a corner and not touching anything. Do it carefully. -Nick to Jamie