What are you hiding? No one ever asks that.

I hated the lost colony; in second grade, we were doing American History, and they said, We don't know what happened to them. That drove me nuts. That lost colony drove me crazy.

Most people don't like to talk about violent historical death.

No cowboys for Canada. Canada got Mounties instead - Dudley Do-Right, not John Wayne. It's a mind-set of "Here I come to save the day" versus "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

In death, you get upgraded into a saint no matter how much people hated you in life.

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada?

I no longer drink nearly as much as I used to but, still, my motto is Sine coffea nihil sum. Without coffee, I'm nothing.