No one I know actually reads what I write, so thank heavens for you strangers.

Being a nerd, which is to say going too far and caring too much about a subject, is the best way to make friends I know.

No cowboys for Canada. Canada got Mounties instead - Dudley Do-Right, not John Wayne. It's a mind-set of "Here I come to save the day" versus "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

I have a similar affection for the parenthesis (but I always take most of my parentheses out, so as not to call undue attention to the glaring fact that I cannot think in complete sentences, that I think only in short fragments or long, run-on thought relays that the literati call stream of consciousness but I still like to think of as disdain for the finality of the period).

The only people who know about me are people who would know about me.

Robert Todd Lincoln, a.k.a. Jinxy McDeath.

If I looked in the mirror someday and saw no dark circles under my eyes, I would probably look better. I just wouldn't look like me.