I take the good with the bad. I can't love people in slices.

My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs!

The knighthood I received was a fantastic honour but it's not something I've ever used and I don't think I ever will.

Laughter kills fear, and without fear there can be no faith. For without fear of the devil there is no need for God.

More than anything else, I'd like to be an old man with a good face, like Hitchcock or Picasso.

I admit I'm being paid well, but it's no more than I deserve. After all, I've been screwed more times than a hooker.

There's something fundamentally wrong with a system where there's been 17 years of a Tory Government and the people of Scotland have voted Socialist for 17 years. That hardly seems democratic.