The following is a list of statements made many years ago by experts in their fields. At the time they were said they sounded intelligent. With the passing of time, they sound idiotic.

My dad told me that when I was born my cheeks were so fat the doctors didn't know which end to spank.

It's especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.

Now think deeply. What have you done with your life over the past year? How do you feel inside?

My dad is a good role model for me, and then I had a high school coach that really helped me out when I was struggling and made a big difference in my life.

You should see my baby pictures. My cheeks hung off my face like water balloons. You can imagine how often I was teased.

You can usually tell when a couple becomes centered on each other because they are forever breaking up and getting back together.