I don't think I'm known for my gifts - I'm known for my gall. I don't want to be just a famous person - I'm too old.

I am not an intellectual. An intellectual is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso, whereas I just say 'pass the mustard'.

To be worthy of assassination takes more than some crappy little book.

People are obsessed by happiness, but there are a lot of other invigorating experiences available.

Getting old is horrible, but it is interesting . . . one of the things I've realized is that growing old is compulsory, but growing up is optional.

I am half-Byronic, half-moronic; part-shaman, part-showman; half-Nazi, half-Liberace.

I am desperate for attention. But everyone else is too. Everyone has fantasies of fame and greatness. Life for most people is a process of shedding those fantasies.