I don't think I'm known for my gifts - I'm known for my gall. I don't want to be just a famous person - I'm too old.

I am not an intellectual. An intellectual is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso, whereas I just say 'pass the mustard'.

I didn't want to tell Mother I worked as a journalist. She thought I was a prostitute. Locking yourself in a room and inventing characters and conversations which do not exit is no way for a grown man to behave.

Being well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which psychoanalysis is powerless to bestow.

Everyone says Oscar Wilde was a dandy, but he wasn't, he was an aesthete. He took pleasure in food and stuff like that. Dandyism is much more austere-much more Calvinistic, more neurotic - it oscillates between narcissism and neurosis.

I can count all the lovers I've had on one hand...if I'm holding a calculator.

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