I can count all the lovers I've had on one hand...if I'm holding a calculator.

The motivation of all artists is 'Look at me, Mum'.

Self-pity is the most destructive of all narcotics.

I am half-Byronic, half-moronic; part-shaman, part-showman; half-Nazi, half-Liberace.

I am not an intellectual. An intellectual is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso, whereas I just say 'pass the mustard'.

People either hate me or dislike me - but I realized that people aren't against you, they are for themselves. We're all prejudiced in favor of ourselves.

I didn't want to tell Mother I worked as a journalist. She thought I was a prostitute. Locking yourself in a room and inventing characters and conversations which do not exit is no way for a grown man to behave.