My one concession to American sensibilities was to remove my nail polish.

I don't really know what Americans are like. I've no idea. I know a few things about them. In my imagination, they have warm peachy hearts, whereas the English have horrible spiteful withered hearts - success in England inspires envy - in America, it inspires hope.

Self-pity is the most destructive of all narcotics.

I might be old, but I'm still desirable.

I am half-Byronic, half-moronic; part-shaman, part-showman; half-Nazi, half-Liberace.

I am not an intellectual. An intellectual is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso, whereas I just say 'pass the mustard'.

A woman is supposed to have curves like an old Bentley, not like some old bike.