I remember thinking as I was doing the jokes for the first time, "If I can hear that very clearly, I'm not hearing laughter." It just became deafening, this buzzing noise. I mean, it was brutal. It was really terrible. Then I remember thinking, "At least nobody important, or anyone who I really respect, saw that." And then literally right when I went off the stage, Jerry Seinfeld got up and went on. So I was like, "Oh great. Seinfeld saw me bomb." On the other hand, I thought, "At least no one will be thinking of me anymore. They'll just be focusing on him."

Are we gonna just make movies about trying to get laid over and over again or focus on something that's more relevant?

I remember, when I was an up-and-coming comic, how annoyed I would be when the famous guys would show up and just take everyone's spots.

When I was a little kid, I used to say, "I would rather host the Oscars than win an Oscar." To me, that seemed like the more appealing, fun gig.

Even vegetables have feelings in our world.

It's much more painful to bomb in front of a group of yours peers than it is to not win. Tons of assholes ain't winning awards, but only one guy will be bombing. So, that's much more nerve-wracking.

For me to act natural and real but also try to be funny while doing that is hard.